I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
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