Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
