Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
We left an ass print on the piano.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
