when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
This is classic penis vs brain.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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