I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize
