I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize