you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
