people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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