where does the pee come out of this thing
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize