We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize