Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
