but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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