dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Randomize
