You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
