Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
