So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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