he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
