Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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