How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
