the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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