just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
