Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
it was like eating out sand paper
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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