YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
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