8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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