I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
