shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
A+ Viking dick
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