What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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