she kept yelling 'call me bella'
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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