What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
