So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize