im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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