Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
