Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
