Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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