Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
