Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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