When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
