He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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