just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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