so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I have aggressive nipples.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
