I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
