Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize