You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Randomize
