I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
