hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
