god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
