I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
