Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
