I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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