try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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