She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
