I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
