The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
