the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
