so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
my being single is dangerous.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
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