I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
