i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
