she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize