So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
