she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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