So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
