And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
