I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize