She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
